mothwizard:

me: i want something very short and small and cutesy but most importantly body safe and discreet

sex toy companies: try the DEVASTATOR SEVENTY THREE INCHES OF PURE JELLY RUBBER HYPER REALISTIC VEINS WE SHOWED IT TO A NUN ONCE AND SHE BURST INTO FLAMES THERE’S ONLY ONE SETTING: DEVASTATION THE VIBRATIONS CAUSED AN EARTHQUAKE MILLIONS ARE DEAD


shrekjpeg:

when u excited about something and ur friend isntimage





hotsoccermom420:

*someone makes a harmless joke about straight people*

"wow THIS is what we get for not shouting slurs at you, literally beating you, or maybe killing you like the rest of the straights?! so much for wanting equality I guess… :/"


bussykiller:

getting home and being able to take off your pants more like

image


techsquadassemble:

dangergays:

so i go to a private school where tuition costs more than most people make in a year and lemme tell you, rich kids are so unaware that they’re rich it’s hilarious and frightening at the same time

I go to a private school too and a while back I was complaining about how I was never home alone and a guy legitimately said “just buy a hotel room”
Rich kids are scary


(Source: illbeyourcure)


oreooficial:

spelling bee administrator: your word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie


(Source: visacredit)


(Source: homo-tears)


(Source: togifs)


(Source: versacefame)


butt-floozy:

Get it together, Barack

butt-floozy:

Get it together, Barack